Common Rehearsal Dinner Mistakes Every Couple Makes
By Meghan Ely, OFD Consulting
In the hubbub of wedding planning, it’s easy for the rehearsal dinner to fall to the bottom of the priority list. However, pushing off planning for this special occasion can lead to stress and confusion, which is not how you want to kick off your wedding weekend!
Rehearsal dinners are inherently more intimate and lowkey than the big day, but they still require thoughtful planning and consideration of the guest experience.
We asked industry experts about the common rehearsal dinner mistakes they see couples make while planning. Keep reading to avoid these setbacks on your journey to the aisle!
Photo Credits: Jessica K Feiden Photography
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
Forgetting to Send Invitations
Most couples put a lot of time and intention into curating the perfect wedding invitation suite, only to realize they have a whole other event to invite guests. But don’t worry too much about placing additional orders or dealing with postage a second time.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more advice on rehearsal dinner invitations, you can shop our collection of affordable and easy-to-use rehearsal dinner invitation downloads, or check out ‘Unique Rehearsal Dinner Invites.’)
Kelley Nudo of Momental Designs recommends enclosing the rehearsal invite within the wedding invitation to keep things simple. “By enclosing a separate insert card with the rehearsal details in the wedding invitation suite, couples can check off two boxes simultaneously on their long to-do list and save on postage,” she confirms.
In addition to timing and location, Jen Sulak of Weirdo Weddings stresses the importance of notifying guests of the dress code for your rehearsal dinner. “A rehearsal dinner could mean anything to anyone, depending on who you are and who is coming,” she notes. “Be detailed in your preferred description of attire!”
Other details you may want to share include the host’s name, type of dinner (cuisine and serving style), and how guests can RSVP for the event.
Nora Sheils of Bridal Bliss and Rock Paper Coin adds that couples should address invitations to include plus-ones, even if they don’t participate in the ceremony rehearsal. “While traditionally this event is only for the couple, wedding party and families, don't forget dates,” she stresses.
Since your rehearsal dinner guest list influences your budget, venue selection, menu choices, and seating arrangements, prioritize invitations to determine an accurate headcount to share with your venue, planner, and caterer.
Overlooking Your Budget
When investing so much into your wedding day, you might not consider the additional expense of a rehearsal dinner. If you’re hosting your own rehearsal dinner, wedding photographer Colton Simmons stresses the importance of factoring it into your big-picture wedding budget.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more advice on rehearsal dinner budgeting, check out ‘Who Pays for the Rehearsal Dinner’ and ‘How Much Should We Spend on the Rehearsal Dinner.‘)
“Although you may not have all of your guests in attendance for your rehearsal dinner, it can be very easy to spend a few extra thousand dollars,” he assures. If you need to trim back on costs, he recommends exploring “making decisions about whether guests should pay for their own drinks or have a limited menu.”
Twickenham House and Hall’s Kelsey Strickland agrees, noting that “rehearsal dinners can be a significant expense due to food costs and staffing. Therefore, it is crucial to include this in your overall wedding budget from the start.”
Sometimes, loved ones step in to host (and fund) the rehearsal dinner. Even if this is the case, couples should discuss budgetary considerations with the host(s) to ensure the plans align with spending expectations. Hosting the rehearsal dinner is a generous gift, so take care to ensure your loved ones don’t break their budget over the event!
Photo Credit: Colton Simmons Photography
Forgoing the Pros
Even those who steer clear of DIYing their wedding assume they can take on the burden of planning their rehearsal dinner. But in the weeks leading up to your big day, you shouldn’t have to worry about coordinating with caterers or updating timelines for the rehearsal dinner. That’s where a planner comes in handy!
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more advice on rehearsal dinner vendors, check out ‘Do We Need to Hire a Planner for the Rehearsal Dinner’ and ‘Pros & Cons of Booking Vendors for the Rehearsal Dinner.’)
Fortunately, you don’t need to go through the vendor research process again. Most couples choose to hire their wedding planner for the rehearsal dinner.
In addition to a planner, wedding photographer Jenny DeMarco notes that couples often regret not having professional photos from their rehearsal dinner.
“It may seem like an unnecessary splurge, but having a photographer can enhance the overall experience,” she explains. “Not only does it ensure that every memorable moment of the weekend gets captured, but it also lets the photographer connect with the wedding crew and family, making everyone more relaxed in front of the camera.”
Having a photographer snapping shots of your favorite people can also free up time during the wedding, as you won’t feel pressured to squeeze in a too-long shot list.
“If you've got a tight budget to stick to, have a photographer stop in for only an hour mid-way through the event,” recommends Monica Garcia of Story Alley Photography.
If someone else is hosting the rehearsal dinner, put them in contact with the wedding vendors you’d like to book for the occasion. Some pros will extend a discounted rate for booking multiple events, so don’t be afraid to ask about transferring that to the host.
Packing the Schedule too Tightly
The last thing you want on the eve of your wedding is a stressful, rushed experience. Since your rehearsal dinner is contingent on the ceremony rehearsal, avoid making any firm plans until you’ve confirmed the schedule with your ceremony venue or officiant.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more advice on rehearsal dinner timelines, check out ‘The Perfect Rehearsal Dinner Timeline’ and ‘Does the Rehearsal Dinner Have to be the Night Before the Wedding?‘)
Otherwise, you may find yourself (and your wedding party) running behind for dinner and having less time to catch up at the party.
“Typically, a ceremony rehearsal may take between 30 minutes to 1 hour, depending on the size of your group and the logistics of your wedding,” shares Sarah Blessinger of Kindred Weddings and Events. “Make sure you are planning enough time to travel from your ceremony rehearsal to the dinner.”
In addition to travel time, don’t forget to factor in traffic and parking delays. Does your timeline coincide with rush hour? Will you and your wedding party members need to search for street parking? Consider all the possibilities to ensure everyone can arrive promptly without feeling pressed for time.
If you’re also planning a welcome party later in the evening, wedding photographer Lynne Reznick recommends adding a buffer between the two events.
“You don't want to have to rush through dinner or skip dessert because you're worried about greeting your other guests at the welcome party,” she says. “Make sure to leave plenty of time for a smooth transition that will avoid awkward overlaps or a rushed meal.”
Fortunately, your wedding planner can help you account for potential hiccups by creating a comfortable timeline with plenty of cushion for surprise delays.
Photo Credits: Kelly Hornberger Photography
Not Planning for Speeches
Since the rehearsal dinner offers a more intimate setting than the wedding, many couples ask loved ones to toast their impending nuptials. But assuming you’ll figure it out during the dinner can lead to awkwardness or discomfort, so it’s best to plan for speeches beforehand.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more advice on rehearsal dinner toasts, check out ‘Who Gives the Toast at the Rehearsal Dinner’ and ‘How to Write & Deliver the Perfect Rehearsal Dinner Toast.’)
Mary Angelini of Key Moment Films reveals that many couples don’t consider where people will stand to give toasts. “We've seen too many toasts where the backdrop is the entrance to a kitchen, where distractions occur frequently,” she says. “If there is no intentionally thought-out spot for toasts, the risk is that some guests might have obstructed views or the couple has to turn their chairs at the dinner table.”
When touring the venue, walk through the space and picture how the evening will flow. “Think about the best place for the toasts to occur so that the guests in the room all have a good view of the toaster and the speech giver has a nice backdrop,” Angelini suggests.
As for who gets to speak, Brian Franklin of Vows & Speeches urges couples to select people in advance and limit toasts to approved speakers. “Whatever you do, never, ever make it an open mic,” he says. “You can easily lose control of the evening that way.”
To maintain the rehearsal dinner timeline, set a time limit for toasts. Five to seven minutes is standard but may vary depending on how many people you’ve asked to speak.
Now that you know the missteps couples often make when coordinating their rehearsal dinner, you can move forward with awareness and confidence in your pre-wedding celebration. Happy planning!
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
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Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after speaker, adjunct professor in the field of public relations, and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.